Amazon Review

I don’t really know why this is so amusing, other than the fact that I’ve been smoking bowl after bowl for a good 6 hours, but it is. I was searching for fans on Amazon, looked at some reviews for a pretty good looking one and found this, still can’t stop laughing.

“Sadly I bought this item from a link in google that took me to Amazon and didn’t list all the sources ON Amazon that sold it. I ended up paying $15 or so more than necessary for it, since Their price was more than Target’s SHIPPED price. I bought it at Beach Audio, through Amazon for $33.07 with a shipping charge of $14.35, for a final price of $47.42. Had I realized I should have RE-searched on Amazon for the brand and model number I would have found it from Target at the $25 listed price and shipping under $7!!! A substantial savings.

HOWEVER, sad as I am that I could have saved a few of my Social Security bucks, I’m totally amazed at the job this tiny fan is doing for me. Here’s my situation, and though I’m sure yours is quite different, you can see the value of the appliance:

I’m a retired person, living upstairs in a tiny living quarters with someone else living downstairs who is in control of the heating and cooling of the house. During the fall and spring when it’s nice outside, the house heat is turned on and migrates upward to become trapped in my tiny living quarters. If I open a window, the heat goes out and the heating system comes back on to make more, I’m sure this causes their electric bill to skyrocket. I found that if I become uncomfortable, I can close my door and my air conditioning vent and crack a window for fresh air, allowing the heat transmitted through the floor to warm the room. This works pretty well, but sometimes not much air comes in the window… and occasional birds and insects to find their way in.

The little Honeywell fit one of my windows perfectly and can be set to quietly blow air in and out at the same time, and it’s thermostatically controlled so it can hold the room at exactly the temperature I like. If I want to smoke a cigar or my pipe, I can set it to exhaust through both fans, or to circulate in and out faster, so I don’t have to worry about poluting the air throughout the house (be sure the door and a/c vent are closed before doing this, they WILL notice :).

The fan blades are plastic, but well enough made so the low setting is not objectionable at all. I had tried a 20″ box fan to exhaust air before, but that was extremely noisy even at the lowest setting. The low setting on this one makes no more noise than my computer fan and still moves air so well I immediately feel the fresh air.

I paid too much for it, but it’s worth twice the price to me. I’m a happy old man and very pleased with my purchase. I hope it lasts a long time!”

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

LABOR DAY BULLSHIT

Originating in 1882 as a day off for the working class, it has strayed far from it’s origins. This is a United States Federal Holiday, created by the Central Labor Union of New York. Meant to be a day of parades, speeches and discussion of rights by union workers, all has failed. Labor Day is now more widely celebrated by the white collar, non-union workers while the rest of us that are stuck in the mud are forced to work on a federal holiday created by US.
Is that bullshit or what?

Your Momegranate

If you could smoke rain, would you do it? If you are the type of person that would even consider this question, what does that say about your mental condition? No worries, for you are not alone in the “I would smoke rain” population, there are many people like you… crazy people… in mental institutions. This ‘population’ is known as your mom and you are a fag.

Now that we have the smoking of rain grounds covered, I’ll continue. It’s been… …forever since I last put anything here, know why? There are a few factors, lets break it down.

1. The amount of working hours compared to non-working hours while adding in time to sleep multiplied by the below causes.

2. My consumption of alcoholic beverages relates directly to the previous, while growing at a geometric rate with the reasons below, that is why I have not blogged in forever x 7.

3. The amount of smoke inhaled, mainly the variety of SMOKING SO MUCH FUCKING POT has left little time to do anything in all truth, combine that with work and drinking and I have a very busy lifestyle.

That is the best reason for my absence, till next time.

PEACE in butts.

stupid fucking photo.net

It would seem that for everything good there is a horrible fuckin shitty part to go along with it. For example, today I got to do some training for work at Seattle Fish Company which totally rocked, however, IT WAS MY FUCKING DAY OFF!! Then, I took some awesome possum pictures of lesbian sex scandals in hollywood (aka, nature shit) and I find out photo.net has a limit of 5 photos for NON-SUBSCRIBERS, meaning I have an account but don’t want to deal out buckets of money to them. Alternatively, I exploited the bandwidth  of my myspace profile for now, see ‘GAYSPACE’ link.

Later on today, seeing as it’s midnight, I’m gonna get a few prints of a select few photos. My only concern is, will they fuck em up… If they do, I may be forced to strangle the life out of their mother with a ball gag attached to her cooch, you figure it out. That’s all for now, have a fun day, fuckers.

IWF

Here’s a summary of the memorial show that was on sunday the 16th, bitches be crazy!

Now I’m going to bed because sunrise is at 7:02 am and I cant let the fucking night seekers wreck my shit! 3 hours, 54 minutes and 05 seconds to go…

E-510

So I got a new digital camera a couple of days ago, an Olympus E-510 as the title suggests. Basically, this thing fucking rules balls! I haven’t gotten a chance to do any real shooting with this beast but here is just a shot I took when messing around, trying out everything on it. I declare my love for this box of lenses, wires and processors above everything else, back off ladies! I plan to flood the bandwidth of this place with future shots, so all your base are belong to ME!

P.S. I got fairly trashed last night and rocked the casbah, just to fill you in on how much cooler I am than your pet turtle.

-bro214

Why I know I fucking rule

Everybody on myspace wants to be my friend. The requests all come from 22 year olds from texas/florida with only a single picture, but they are all hot. In my e-mail box, people I don’t even know want to send me free money and chances to win a free ps3 or xbox 360. The really cool ones say I can add 5 inches in a matter of days. When I go to the mall, 13 year olds always ask for cigarettes because they know who I am. They say, “There he is, Joe Cool, he totally rocks!” and all the pre-teen bitches pass out in joy when I walk by. Older adults are jealous because they know I’m not a faggot like they are, they wanna be like mike. My regular mail box contains thousands of free coupons, once again, people giving me free shit because they know how bad ass I am. While riding the bus, I sit in the very front and force old people to the back. They don’t mind at all though, they would rather have the bumpy ride destroy their pace makers and bad hip just to admire how much I rule.

I went to McDonalds for breakfast a couple of days ago, they knew who I was, Mr. Cool. I wasn’t even standing in line and they asked what I wanted. Next time I went, there was a mother and her little kid in line so the mother shot her kid in the face then committed suicide just so I wouldn’t have to wait. They know, they ALL know…

- Sucks to be you.

Portfolio

Ok, in my venture to become the world’s best hardcore porn photographer that has a specialty in double and triple penetration, I have started a digital portfolio on photo.net. I will, hopefully, regularly upload pictures of me dropping deuces into the mouths of small children and pets. Also, I may upload the occasional artsy photograph for your viewing  pleasure.

http://photo.net/photodb/member-photos?user_id=4040390

Smoking

Isn’t it great to live in a country where we have the freedom to do and say what we please? Well, maybe to a certain extent, but it holds true for this matter at least. Colorado has endured the smoking ban for well over a year and the non-smokers are still at their peak of bitching. During winter, we step outside of a bar or restaurant to take a few drags while you ridicule us from inside, nice and warm yet your heart is still colder than the air we gotta breath. You pass us on the street and say, “Oh, that’s SO disgusting, HOW RUDE!!” Irony is a bitch. Maybe I don’t like the smell of that cheap perfume you drown in. That shit eating grin you stretch when talking to your cheating husband. When you try to fit into a size five when you’re a size 20. Your little shit kids running around screaming because you’re a failure of a parent and would be better off choking on your own vomit in an effort to expel the bottle of Advil your sorry ass downed after coming to terms with your shitty fucking life and realizing you’re a son of a bitch and your mom was the biggest crack whore on colfax. …perhaps.

I’ve been a nice guy so far about this situation, while you people have been complete dicks about it. In an effort to better myself, I’m gonna say fuck it. You look at me, smoke in the face. Your kid laughs, smoke in their face. You smile, I’ll say fuck off. You breath, I’ll shove a pastrami sandwich filled with cigarette butts down that cum guzzling throat of yours.

Have a nice day, I sure will!